When someone doesn’t directly tell you they love you or doesn’t give you a hug, it can sometimes be misinterpreted as them not loving you. On the other hand, a loved one could similarly jump to the conclusion that you may not care for them as much as they do for you, because you’ve been busy and unable to spend time with them. We all have a preference of how we want love to be expressed to us, and every single person gives and receives love differently. So, when someone isn’t saying the words, “I love you,” it doesn’t mean they don’t, it could just mean they express love differently and have a different love language than you. There are five different love languages (developed by Dr. Gary Chapman) that exist, let’s dive into them down below:
- Words of Affirmation
- This love language is exactly what the name suggests, these individuals thrive on verbal expressions of love. Whether spoken or written – receiving compliments, praise, appreciation, encouraging words, or gratitude, directed at them is something they equate with feeling loved. If someone’s love language is words of affirmation, here are some ideas: tell them you love them, send them a sweet text, write them a letter, or make them a playlist.
- Some examples of words of affirmation:
- I love you
- I am grateful to have you in my life
- I am really proud of you
- I admire the way you ____
- You are so smart, pretty, strong, etc.
- Acts of Service
- In the case of this love language, actions speak louder than words. The individuals who prefer this love language, thrive on receiving acts that would make their life easier in some way. This could include tasks such as making them a meal, bringing them a coffee, offering to drive, packing them lunch or filling up their car when they’re limited on time. Acts of service aren’t synonymous with grand gestures, by the way. As long as you are being thoughtful and doing something that would best help your loved one or something you know they would like, it’s an act of service. This could be something as simple as bringing them medicine from your local pharmacy when they have a cold.
- Physical Touch
- This love language emphasizes the need for physical contact. Thus, individuals whose primary language is physical touch, tend to be very touchy and require touchiness back in order to feel cared for and loved. Some forms of physical touch can include hugs, holding hands, giving massages, shoulder rubs, playing with hair, offering a shoulder to cry on or even just allowing them to put their feet on you while you’re sitting on the couch.
- Receiving Gifts
- This love language tends to get a bad rep and the person whose love language is receiving gifts is perceived as being shallow or materialistic. However, that isn’t usually the case; these individuals thrive on the effort and thoughtfulness behind the gift. Knowing that someone took time out of their day, thought about them, remembered what they liked and did something to make them happy shows them you care for them. Once again this love language isn’t synonymous with expensive or grand gestures, something as simple as bringing them their favorite chocolate bar, making them cookies or even picking out their favorite vegetable from your garden is enough to make them feel loved.
- Quality time
- Sometimes words are enough, sometimes actions speak louder than words and other times, time is everything. In the case of this love language, nothing says “I love you” like someone choosing to spend time with you with their full, undivided attention. This can be done by going on a hike, eating a meal, planning a picnic or going on a road trip. It could even just mean hanging out at home. Whatever activity you decide to do, just remember to turn off the television, put your phone away, stop daydreaming and be present in the moment, it will make your loved one feel happy.