If you’re active on social media, odds are you’ve seen the positivity trend that has taken over. You’ve probably come across some form of just be positive, think positively, or positive vibes only in response to everything and anything. Always being cheerful, positive, uplifting and looking on the bright side has become the new fad. Who can we really blame? Whether it’s a loved one or us personally going through a rough patch or feeling sad and down, we want the negative emotions to be gone and replaced with feelings of happiness. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with positivity, healthy positivity exists to serve us and can be extremely helpful. However, there’s positivity and then there’s toxic positivity. But, the question is when does it go from simply being healthy positivity to becoming toxic?
Well, positivity encourages you to accept all emotions, including negative feelings that arise. Positivity means you understand you can’t always be happy, but still choose to accept all of your emotions, while remaining positive that you can work through whatever it is you’re dealing with. Positivity is knowing that you are struggling, but that the feeling of sadness won’t last forever. Positivity means acknowledging whatever is bothering you, understanding it, learning from it and then doing whatever possible to work through it. Positivity means making the best of the situation at hand and choosing a positive perspective even when facing a difficult situation.
Positivity becomes toxic when it is insincere, forceful, and encourages the repression or avoidance of any negative emotions such as sadness, anxiety, and anger. Toxic positivity is believing that no matter what terrible situation or pain someone is experiencing, the only thing they can do is have a positive mindset. Toxic positivity is viewing any type of negative emotion as something to completely avoid and instead pushes the idea of pretending everything is fine even when it’s not. To sum it up, toxic positivity is basically denying every emotion that isn’t positive, kind of like a robot placed on one setting.
| Toxic Positivity | Healthy Positivity |
|---|---|
| Just be positive | Yes, there is a possibility that something may go wrong. I know it takes just as much energy to believe something bad could happen as it does to believe something good can happen. So, I’m going to choose to be positive and hope for the best outcome. |
| You’ll get over it | I’m a human being dealing with a tough situation, it’s perfectly okay for me to experience feelings that aren’t the most pleasant to process what happened. I can use this negative situation as a learning experience so I know how to avoid similar situations in the future. I am growing. |
| Don’t think about it, stay positive | It is okay for me to feel how I am feeling, including all negative emotions, to get it out of my system. Suppressing feelings does nothing, but causes them to bottle up. I am upset/anxious now, but I’m positive I won’t feel like this forever. |
| I’m sure it’s not as bad as it seems | This is hard, but I’ve accomplished hard things before. I believe that I can get through it and am going to try my best. |
| Other people have it worse | Hardships aren’t a competition. Different people process and experience things differently. Their feelings are valid and so are mine. We will overcome our situations in our own ways. |
| Positive vibes only | Sometimes I am sad, sometimes I am angry, and sometimes I am bored. That is okay because I am a human and not a robot. However, I will try my best to remain as positive as I can. |
