I’m at the train station waiting for the next train to head home after a super fun day spent in the city with my friends. As we’re waiting for the train, we’re having a good time laughing and snapping selfies. The train comes and we hop on board and we’re already planning our next trip back. Out of nowhere, with absolutely nothing to trigger it, there’s that pesky little thing again. The overwhelming sensation hits, my heart starts rapidly beating out my chest, I get up and start pacing back and forth on the moving train because it feels like if I continue sitting, I will die. It’s the wintertime, but suddenly it’s so, so hot. I feel like the jacket I’m wearing is suffocating me. I feel like I can’t breathe, I take it off and throw it on the floor, it does nothing, I’m still hot and sweaty. I still can’t breathe, it seems as if the oxygen quantity is decreasing by the minute on this train. I sit down, it doesn’t help. I start pacing around again; it doesn’t help. Nothing’s going to help, I’m not going to make it home, I’m going to die.
As if it couldn’t get any worse, the nausea sets in. Not only is my heart pounding faster than I ever thought possible, I can’t breathe, I’m burning, I feel like I’m going to die, but now on top of all that I feel like I’m going to vomit. Will this ever end? It feels as if every second of this nightmare is lasting an eternity. Am I just going to explode? I want to run away, far away from this, but I’m trapped in with no way out. Will I ever regain control over my body? My friends are telling me we’re almost home, trying to see if they can get me to relax. They mean well, but of course it’s to no avail. My mind is racing, but at the same time I’m unable to think clearly. What the hell is going on?! I can’t stop, why won’t it stop? I know I just have to let it run its course.
Finally, my friends drop me off home. As I get home, the clock strikes 12. It’s my birthday and my family surprises me with a cake. The panic attack is finally subsiding, but I’m exhausted. I don’t have it in me to celebrate, I ask to do it in the morning and fall into my bed. I’m drained, but thank god it’s finally over, I can finally relax. I just hope this pesky little thing doesn’t strike again anytime soon.
