In life there are many things that we can directly control, like what we’re going to wear, what we’re going to have for dinner tonight, whether we’re going to hang out with our friends this week, what we choose to pursue as a career, who we let into our social circles and so on. Then there are those things we have the ability to change if we’re not completely happy with them. For instance, if we want to lose weight, we can start a fitness regime. If we want more friends, we can join organizations to meet more people. If we want to learn a sport, we can sign up for lessons. The choices are completely ours.
However, just as some things are in our control, on the opposite end, there are things that we have absolutely no control over. No matter how hard we try or what we do, these things just cannot be changed. The quicker we come to terms with that, the better for our overall mental health. So, start diverting your time and energy into things that you can control, it’s much more beneficial, and learn to accept and let go of the following things as soon as possible:
- Where you came from If there is one thing that is impossible in this world, that is changing where you come from. You cannot change your roots, your family members or the circumstances you were born into. We don’t get to pick out where we were born, who we were born to and who was born into the same place. Whether you like it not, your family will always be your family (Whether you choose to have a relationship with them or not, however, is completely up to you.) Our background is something we have no control over, but this doesn’t limit what we can become or achieve. Instead of focusing on being born into an unfavorable circumstance, choose to focus on where you can go from there.
- The past What would you do if you could travel back in time? Chances are you’re thinking something along the lines of: I wouldn’t have wasted so much time on someone so undeserving, I would have studied harder and gotten better grades, I wouldn’t have said those awful things to my best friend, or I would have spoken up about how I felt. The list goes on and on. Daydreaming about how different your life would be under any of these false circumstances won’t change what happened. Unless someone invents a time machine anytime soon, you will never have the opportunity to go back and change a single thing. Whatever has happened is out of your control. Constantly thinking about what you would do if you could go back in time is nothing more than a waste of your time. You are not defined by your past. Take your past as a lesson learned, not a life sentence and then let it go.
- Change We live in a world where nothing is a constant, except for change. Seasons come and seasons go, morning fades into night and night fades into morning, you lose friends and you gain friends, sometimes you’re happy and sometimes you’re sad, everything is constantly changing. On one hand, the worst part is that everything changes, including the good things. On the other hand, the great part is nothing stays the same, including the bad.
- Other people’s opinions What is one thing that everyone has? An opinion! Have you been wanting to change your hair color? Change your career/job? Deciding to take a year off before college? Whatever it is, everyone will have an opinion on what they think you should do. No matter what decisions you make, how you dress, how you act, or what you say, people will have an opinion. You can’t control what other people think. But, you know what? Their opinions don’t matter! Honestly, why should they? It’s your life and your opinion of yourself is all that matters. Even if they mean well, you are the only person who knows what’s best for you. They don’t have to live with your choices, but you do. Stop caring about what anyone else thinks! Life is short, live it how you want!
- Age Getting older is something you have absolutely no control over! It’s a fact of life. Life is so much more than age, your age doesn’t have to limit you! It’s never too late to try new things, accomplish goals you set in the past, have fun, or get in shape. Plus, worrying about age is going to make you stress and stress does nothing positive for your mental or physical wellbeing, thus making you age quicker. So take the energy you use on worrying about age and put it towards eating well and working out, it’ll keep you young and let you live your life to the max for longer.